I do it for my cat

I feel really anxious. The more I learn, the more I realise I don't know anything. I could have just learnt something, and yet, when I do the drill required of me, I take forever. I guess I went through a similar rollercoaster of emotions when I first learnt to paint. It takes me awhile to give myself a pep talk to convince myself to press on. This is really putting a dent in my confidence. Or should I say, blasting a gaping hole. I am constantly questioning myself. Can I really do this? Do I have the aptitude? It is not that I don't have the interest. I actually do find programming quite interesting. I do wonder if there will ever come a day when I will feel confident doing it. Right now, I just want to curl up in a ball of self pity.

It's been awhile since I've blogged. I've been inspired to start it up again by listening to the Codenewbie podcast. I suppose it's a good way for me to keep track of my progress, or lack thereof. After months years of searching for something new to learn, I've finally given in and started playing around with coding. I purchased a full stack web development course on Zenva several months ago and tried teaching myself. It was a real struggle. It took me a long time to get through the classes. At times, even after much googling, I wasn't sure what I was doing. So, I finally decided to take the plunge and join a bootcamp. It's been great so far. It feels really good to learn something new and challenging after so many years of just riding planet earth and drifting through space. I do worry that my investment will not bear fruit, but I suppose that it is up to me to make sure that doesn't happen. The struggle with imposter syndrome is all too real. This ...