Skip to main content

Crippling anxiety

I feel really anxious. The more I learn, the more I realise I don't know anything. I could have just learnt something, and yet, when I do the drill required of me, I take forever. I guess I went through a similar rollercoaster of emotions when I first learnt to paint. It takes me awhile to give myself a pep talk to convince myself to press on. This is really putting a dent in my confidence. Or should I say, blasting a gaping hole. I am constantly questioning myself. Can I really do this? Do I have the aptitude? It is not that I don't have the interest. I actually do find programming quite interesting. I do wonder if there will ever come a day when I will feel confident doing it. Right now, I just want to curl up in a ball of self pity.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

So long and thanks for all the fish! Part 1 of 2

I have been with the Tech Academy both as a software developer bootcamp student, as well as an employee. After my bootcamp, I was hired first as the live project instructor, and then as Live Project Director. This, I believe, gives me a unique point of view. I have absolutely no regrets and would join the bootcamp again. But there are a number of things I would do differently. What I have learnt as a former student 1. DO NOT WORK PART TIME.   I worked part-time(20-30hrs) during my bootcamp. I was up at 2.30-3.00am every day to work for several hours. I took a short nap, and then I took a 1hr bus ride down to campus. Studied for 7- 9 hours. Took a 1hr bus ride back home. Lather, rinse, repeat. I also had some family obligations. My weekends and half the summer were taken up caring for my young stepdaughter. I was completely exhausted by the end of the bootcamp and I didn't know if I could do more. Learning to program is HARD. You need to be fully focused. I am fortunate because I di...
Post a Comment
Read more

Finding your roots

I tried working on the Algorithms I course on Coursera a while back and I had no idea what was going on so I never continued with it. I decided to give it another try now that I've read up a little on algorithms. It's still using a lot of my brain cells but I am slowly making my way through it.  Learning about Quick-unions in Java(from the course) Java seems almost identical to C#. I've forgotten most of what I've learnt about C# but, there's enough in this brain for me to read this. I had such a tough time understanding the root method. I wrote it out in my notebook and worked through it to figure out how it functions and I am amazed! That line is so simple yet complex. And it reminded me of a binary tree LeetCode challenge I was trying to work on with my colleagues some time ago. I had no idea what binary trees even were at that point. The challenge involved finding roots and tre...
Post a Comment
Read more

Algorithms: Max Consecutive Ones

Challenge from LeetCode: count the maximum number of consecutive 1s in a list of 1s and 0s. I got it done pretty quickly, or so I thought. I had not accounted for what would happen upon the last iteration through the for loop. Reworked it and this is what I got:  def checkMax(maxConsec, count):         if count > maxConsec:             return count, 0         else:             return maxConsec, 0          class Solution:         def findMaxConsecutiveOnes(self, nums: List[int]) -> int:         maxConsec = 0         count = 0                 for index, num in enumerate(nums):             if num == 1:                   count += 1             ...
Post a Comment
Read more